Quicklist Reviews

Quicklist Reviews Black Swan

Black Swan

Black Swan

Summary:

A very sad lady wants to be a bird but maybe not.

 

Breakdown Rating:

Characters: 4
Aesthetics: 6
Plot: 6
Cinematography: 6
Theming: 5
Sum: 27/50

 

Important Features:

  • Mirrors
  • Swans
  • The Black Swan
  • The White Swan
  • Ballet
  • Sex
  • Buns
  • Obsession with perfection
  • Delusion and possibly hallucinations
  • Death
  • More swans

 

Highlights:

  • The music
  • These people make dancing look hardcore.
  • The acting is nice.
  • I like the feather animations near the end.
  • Mirrors are cool.
  • Gay stuff
  • Many splitting of sides
  • The hallucinations are cool.
  • This is actually a horror movie in disguise.
  • The end ballet cinematography is gorgeous.
  • Limited locations make the film feel eerily close.
  • It looks like New York City.

 

Dregs:

  • The ballet director
  • All of these people look the same. I can’t tell who anyone is. GIVE THEM DIFFERENT BUNS!
  • No real person claims to like grapefruit.
  • It’s maybe a little too long for the simplicity of the concept.
  • Everyone’s an asshole.
  • What exactly is up with her mother? Why does she let that slide? If her mother has full control over her, did she ever go to school? Does she know that there are places other than New York City?
  • That’s a stupid way to keep a door closed.
  • The main character has a secure job in a competitive field in NEW YORK FUCKING CITY and is sad because her job is slightly different than the one she wants. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say she’s a bit entitled.
  • The director kissing scenes have not aged well.
  • The phrase, “And in death, finds freedom”
  • If pretention could be concentrated and put in a film, this would be that film.

 

Spoiler Notes:

  • Am I a terrible person if I thought her dying was too melodramatic?
  • So, she never killed anyone? Is it possible she did and we just never saw it?
  • We get it. She’s tearing herself apart.
  • Why does she start turning into a swan before she gets the part?
  • She really shouldn’t masturbate in front of her mother. That’s a bad idea.
  • Why does she think the person who hates her would like a visit from her in the hospital?

 

Lingering Questions:

  • Why the swan feet?
  • Did Darren Aronofsky really use Times New Roman for the opening titles font?
  • Why is the Krampus in the ballet?
  • Why is the protagonist so murderous?
  • How can you possibly get cell phone reception in a New York City basement bathroom?
  • The fuck was with the cake scene?
  • Why do we continue to glorify mental health issues as drama?
  • Are all hospitals this blasé about visitors? Could you literally just walk into a random hospital and visit a sick person without any of the nurses noticing?
  • Why is everyone in this film so obsessed with sex?
  • Why does that piano player agree to stay so late just so she can practice? Does she not know of the invention of CD players or the internet?
  • Yeah, but it wasn’t perfect, though, was it?

 

Verdict:

Darren Aronofsky REALLY likes mirrors.

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