Welcome to my self-deprecating abode; enjoy your stay if you can. This is a little pet project of mine, an attempt to keep myself writing and thinking critically about films, books, games, shows, and other things I come across, mostly of the fictional variety. Sometimes I’ll post reviews of episodes in a series, and sometimes I won’t. Sometimes I’ll say nice things about the subjects I review; often I’ll have more than a few less friendly words. My goal isn’t to be pandering or hyperbolic (well, not usually, anyway). I like reviews that are honest, and I think any subject has at least some value to be discussed, even if that means dissecting its failures. Hopefully I manage a bit of entertainment in there along the way.
You can check out my FAQ if you want to know more about my process, but here are a few things to keep in mind before you shoot me angry emails about how your great aunt Helga thinks The Hunger Games is a lovely book and that I should have my review license revoked for calling it “a glorified cannonball of hard-packed gorilla shit.”
1. I am not a professional reviewer. I don’t have a review license to revoke. That also means I won’t necessarily get these up on a regular basis and some of them may seem wildly different in quality. As I said, this is an experiment for me as much as everyone else.
2. Sometimes I swear. This should be obvious by now. Different reviews will have different levels of professionalism, and if I get enough of them up here, I might one day get around to sorting out which ones are serious, which ones are meant more for entertainment, and which ones are family-friendly (though if you let your kid loose on the internet and have a problem with curses, boy do you have a rough surprise in store). For now, they’re all in the same place.
3. I won’t be reviewing everything under the sun. I will select things according to the logical system of “I came across this thing on Netflix a week ago” or some similar scientific procedure. Much of what I review will vary wildly; I have at least one review plan for a book that came out over a hundred years ago, and another that was released in 2016. So I won’t be reviewing things as they come out unless I happen to see/read/play/lick them in my own time.
4. I am an asshole. More than that, I’m an internet asshole. Keep in mind that I am by no means unique in this regard, and that assholes serve a useful function. Imagine a world without anal sphincters. The bottom line (no pun intended) is if I shit on something you love, you’re fine to disagree with me. I just want you to be aware of why you are disagreeing with me; is it because you find my argument reductive and hyperbolic, or is it because you have fond memories of watching Star Wars or playing Super Mario Bros. when you were eight? You’re fine to still like those things either way. I’m more interested in getting people to think critically than getting them to agree with me.
Hopefully that covers the bases. Happy reading! Or angry reading, if you like.